* Nightmares, when explored, are gifts and guides to what is right and next for you.

When energy is suppressed and squeezed into a smaller and smaller container, it eventually can tear the container apart and surge forward. We see it in our kitchens when water reaches the boiling point and the spout of the tea kettle catches the steam. You hear the whistle and know it is time to make tea. The surge is useful information.

But boiling soup or sauce will blow the lid off an unwatched pot. And a quiet subservient person can be carrying unexpressed frustration and pain that grows in intensity until it explodes into violence. The nice, quiet, unassuming person with no criminal record who thrashes out with fists or bullets is well known to newspaper readers and TV news viewers.

Women recovering from eating disorders can be unaware of the massive change about to disrupt their lives. Many report versions of an overwhelming wave of water dream. They consider this dream a nightmare.

One version is this: The woman is on a boat in the ocean, often with friends or spouse or both. It's a beautiful day. The sea is calm. She and her friends are relaxing. She feels that all is normal and pleasant.

Liv and Susie are asking questions that relate to many people who restrict. (In response to invitation post) The questions go like this: "How do I change course and start gaining when I am underweight?" "Even if I’m at a weight that’s too low, how can I just maintain instead of losing?" "I’m still losing weight! How can I stop?"  "When will I feel that it is okay to eat?"

An approach to stop restricting I’ll give you an approach you can use to help yourself stop restricting. Then I’ll try to help you understand how it works. But please know, you don’t have to understand how this approach works for it to be effective.

For you quick readers: Be your own doctor. Give yourself the authority to take charge of your health.

Sudden anorexia recovery efforts can be as shocking to the body as well as the mind. Here is one woman’s recovery story presented via our correspondence. She gave me permission to post our dialogue on my blog in hopes that our exchange would help you. (Her name is changed and her city is omitted.)

Hello Joanna, I found your website online and was hoping that you could help me. I struggled in silence with anorexia for eight years.

Coping with the pain and turmoil in a life governed by an eating disorder can tempt you into making to do lists.  You want positive change in your life. Why not just make a list of what you want to change, and follow your own directions in an orderly manner? A "To Do" list can seem like your solution. Can it work, or is it a set up for failure?

Do you know about Sojourner Truth? Perhaps this strong, brave and eloquent woman of the 1800's can inspire you as she did me and millions of others.

Recently a new therapist asked me, "Do you try to get your clients to diminish their bingeing behaviors from the beginning of therapy or do you explore their feelings first? I know there are differing views on this."

When I heard this question, several points of equal value, in my opinion, arrived simultaneously in my mind concerning therapy work with eating disorder patients.  Please understand that these considerations are simultaneous.

My first thought was that I don't try to 'get' my clients to do anything. I want them to heal and develop the capacity to live a fulfilling and satisfying life. But what that means to them and how they specifically accomplish that falls into the realm of their personal values, decision making and evolution.

Experiencing a situation where you are the layoff messenger and must inform a few or hundreds of people that they are losing their jobs can be incredibly challenging and emotionally charged. It's natural to have a mix of conflicting emotions, including survivor guilt, anxiety, compassion, and even relief.

Exploring the emotional weight of announcing a massive job layoff when you are not the decision maker:

Survivor Guilt:

Survivor guilt often arises when you witness others experiencing adversity while you remain in a relatively secure position. In this layoff