First is your choice to either keep living as you are living or move toward freedom and change.
If you continue to follow your routine in a life that is unhappy, neglect your yearning and fulfill the expectations of others, you will maintain your status quo and gradually feel worse. If you can’t find your way to change, you may try to distract yourself with activities and substances or temporary and short-lived thrills.
When you emerge, you see nothing improved, and your life may have disintegrated more during your absence. If you move to free yourself, you disrupt the known system of your life. You might say that requires courage, perhaps more than you think you have.