The caterpillar may lead a joyous life, but at the end of the life cycle, it goes into reclusion for transformation. That may be joyous until the change is complete. Now, the new being works its way into a different life as the worn-out chrysalis crumbles.

A quiet self-talk statement to keep yourself centered and awake is this: I can find my path to joy.

Bored? Restless? Lonely? Feeling guilty about wasting time? Overeating? Starving? Numbing yourself in bars? Sex becoming dull? Are people uninteresting?

You weren’t always like this.

The world is full of choices and new paths for you.

Yearning for a more joyful and fulfilling life is a major indication that you are unsatisfied where you are. It's time to move into a new way of being in the world. How do you get motivated to begin? How do you change your desire to action?

You want to feel alive again. You want to wake up in the morning with a smile. You want to be eager for the day and what you will experience.

Regardless of your age or situation, within you is your knowledge of joy. You can have it again.

Welcome to your new beginning on your path to joy. Searching for and finding your path is a task we face periodically throughout our lives. Growth and development never stops. The experience of loss and completion never stops. The need to feel alive and meaningful never stops.

Read and follow these steps, and you will find yourself on your path to joy.

(Example of healing self talk and the power of journal writing. Printed with permission)  *pix

Christmas is coming, and I’m alone. I feel abandoned by a world of people who are happily busy in gayety and plans for more.

Is this true? Do my feelings reflect reality?

My family is punishing me for not being obedient. I am stretching my heart and mind into realms that intrigue me and offer me new satisfying direction. That's belittled.

I’m not included in celebrations. I’m invited to events with 20 minutes notice. I don’t respond.

I am no longer stripping myself of energy, time and money to perform people pleasing behavior for people who are never pleased.  And I feel frightened, alone and sometimes desperate.

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Welcome to more personal power in recognizing and dealing with abuse. The November 28, 1019 New York Times article, “The Wisdom Your Body Knows, You are not just thinking with your brain,” brings together information that can clear your fuzzy manipulated thinking when you are confronted with an abuser of any kind.

Information on the workings of the vagus nerve is new to me. I’ve seen brief articles that recommend sleeping on your right side, meditating, doing deep breathing exercises and more to nurture your vagus nerve. But I didn’t comprehend the significance of vagus nerve activity until I read David Brooks’  New York Times article.

Within our psyche we carry the known and unknown about ourselves. This is a tricky statement. What we think we know about ourselves may be influenced by what we don’t know about ourselves. When the unknown reveals itself we may have a different experience of being who we are.

When Bobby Darin learned that his sister was really his mother and his mother was really his grandmother, it was an emotional catastrophe for the singer/actor.  Our identity as we understand ourselves may be different than what we believed once we know what has been hidden about who we are.

For a positive change in your life, you need to rally new, energizing inspiration from within and act.

Is that possible? How do you do that? If you are miserable or just plain bored or guilty about procrastinating, what can you do to rouse yourself into a spirited and satisfying way of living?

Bear the conflict. Eventually, if you follow step 1 and step 2 you will feel uncomfortable. You will feel afraid or mad or so angry and depressed you want to blame something or someone or many people or conditions for your emotional pain.

You can get through this stage without understanding, relying on a devil may care act of desperation. But that often does not work. If you try to break the conflict in yourself through dangerous activities you are not trying to die, although you may. You are trying to stop the pain by taking extreme distracting action.