Trauma and grief

Series Note
Meeting the Self Who Never Died is Article 3 in the six-part series, Claiming the Lost Self. The series explores how women lose contact with their inner life through early distortions of love and how depth psychotherapy supports the return of the lost self. Each article builds on the last, following the psyche’s movement from invisibility to recognition, strength, and spiritual coherence.

Summary
Some women enter midlife with an ongoing or intermittent misery they have learned to accept as usual. For some, the pain grows so persistent that they reach for a life that does not require them to endure what can no longer be carried. Beneath these expressions is the same truth. This is not emptiness. It is the lost self that never died, waiting for recognition.

Details: Category: Recovery & Healing

Dreams of a rescuer

Dawn

Claiming the Lost Self: An Essential Task for Midlife Women — Seven-Part Series

How the unconscious sends saving images before the mind can ask for help

By Joanna Poppink, MFT

Series Note

Dreams of the Rescuer is Article 2 in the seven-part series, Claiming the Lost Self. The series examines how early survival patterns shape a woman’s sense of love, loyalty, and identity, and how depth psychotherapy reveals the self that never died. Each article traces the psyche’s journey from unconscious distress toward clarity, instinct, and inner authority.

Summary

When the false map of love has guided a woman for years, the psyche often speaks in dreams before she can speak for herself. These dreams of the rescuer appear at the threshold between endurance and awakening. Long before consciousness can admit danger or hope, the unconscious sends an image that says she is still alive. This article explores how rescue dreams mark the return of the lost self, how they function both psychologically and spiritually and how depth psychotherapy helps women understand their meaning.

Details: Category: Recovery & Healing

false map of love

Claiming the Lost Self: An Essential Task for Midlife Women

How distorted ideas of love and loyalty create self-betrayal and spiritual disconnection.

By Joanna Poppink, MFT

Series Note

The False Map of Love is Article 1 in the seven-part series, Claiming the Lost Self. The series explores how women lose connection to their inner truth through distorted ideas of love and loyalty, and how depth psychotherapy supports the return of the self that survived beneath years of adaptation and silence. Each article follows the psyche’s movement from distortion to awakening through memory, embodiment, and spiritual renewal.

Summary
Many women move through life guided by a false map of love, often without knowing it. They grow up believing that steady devotion requires self-erasure, and that being loved means keeping themselves small. This article traces how such maps form quietly in childhood, how they shape adult relationships, and how depth psychotherapy supports a woman as she begins claiming the lost self. Throughout this six-part series, we follow the psyche’s movement from distortion to clarity, from silent endurance to awakening, through dreams, memory, embodiment, and spiritual renewal.

The False Map of Love

Every woman begins life with a map she does not know she is drawing. It often is a map drawn for her that she accepts without question. The map markings are subtle. A raised eyebrow. A sigh. A quiet withdrawal of affection. A moment of sudden warmth that depends entirely on her compliance. A child learns quickly. She learns what brings calm into the room and what sparks tension. She learns which emotions are welcome and which threaten the household's delicate balance.