Tracy, do you do a lot of writing? When I get like this, I usually sit and write...and empty out everything I can find in my head, even things that seem stupid, irrelevent, not justified etc I have on occasions written tantrums, full of expletives about "this stupid !"£$%^& eating, and how I want to jump up and down and scream and shout, cos it's $%^&*(&* and "£$%^&* and I'm so inadequate, and it's not even like I would look nice even if I was the right weight for my height, so what's the !"£$%^%^& point???"...whatever it is that you feel, just let it out - if it's angry, don't write it all calmly and nicey nicey,write it how you feel it; and at some point you may breakdown and have a good cry, and the things that you know are irrational - it doesn't matter, write what you feel first, and then if you want to you can go back and rationalise things afterwards. Please NEVER feel embarrassed about what you post on here, what you post is 'real', it's the way things really are for you, and the way it is for a lot of people who read this and don't have the courage to post. Treatment can be so hard, it's not so long ago that I felt at such a loose end, I couldn't even figure out how I was going to get through the week between one therapy session and the next, it was such a desperate, helpless feeling, and a feeling that I gave myself a hard time about, for not coping better...when in hindsight, I can see it was a perfectly natural response, and have subsequently read that a lot of people go through this phase on their recovery journey. Please, be kind to yourself hun...there's lots of support here for you, support that understands how you feel xx