I can't imagine what it must be like to

I can't imagine what it must be like to be in that stage of recovery. How do you get your mind to be okay with your weight? It must be so hard. I know I've lost weight over the past few months, not significant, but I guess I was "underweight" to begin with, according to my T. She's been away on maternity leave and I wonder if she will notice the few pounds I've lost. I fear that she will "fire" me for not being at the weight she wants me to be at. She was getting tough on me a few months before she left for her leave. I just don't know how I could gain weight. Right now I'm only 5 or 6 pounds below what she says is my "lowest acceptable weight," but that's about 3 or 4 lbs lower than what I was last time she saw me. I know that my face looks too "thin" and people are noticing b/c people are saying things to me, parents included. I hate that. I don't want that, but I am not going to eat if I'm not hungry. I'm eating things I wouldn't normally eat, but it's not making my weight increase at all. I thought I gain weight being away for 10 days and not working out. (I was in Italy and eating things I don't usually eat, but I was also walking around for 10 hrs a day and eating only meals and one snack). I don't really know what I'm babbling on about. I just know that I don't want people to notice my weight. Sorry for blabbing here.