Dear PTC,

Yikes.  Please use your creativity and find what soothes you, at least a little.  You need alternatives to running for your own health and well being.  Without your health your choices becomes more limited in this life.

Maybe you are about to lose your job and maybe not.  Sounds like you don't know and your anxiety is running away with you.

Please use your fear as an arrow pointing to issues you need to address.

What are your job qualifications?

What additional skills and trainings will either make more more indispensable where you are
or
more desirable in other job settings and to other employers?

I'm here because I just checked into the site while taking a break from my homework at coursera.com.

Coursera.com is fantastic.  There is no reason for anyone to feel they can't afford to increase the education.  Classes, all online and from the best universities, are free.  If you want credit for taking and passing a class, you pay $49.00.

I highly recommend coursera.com  

Sounds like you don't even like your job.  So this is even more reason to equip yourself to do something you do like and get paid for it.

Come on, PTC.  What feels like stress and anxiety may be adventure and a new life calling you.