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If you suffer from an eating disorder now or have in the past, please email Joanna for a free telephone consultation.

 joanna@poppink.com

Eating Disorder Recovery
Joanna Poppink, MFT
Eating Disorder Recovery Psychotherapist
serving Arizona, California, Florida, Oregon and Utah.
All appointments are virtual.

I'm sure Joanna will have some wise words for you, but I just wanted to say that I think you are so brave and trying so hard!

Everything that happened in your session, the anger that came up, tne feeling like you wanted to hurl things - they're strong feelings that have been eating away at you for a long time and that needed letting out - I don't think there is any shame in that.  I know for myself, sometimes I've felt so hurt and so angry, it's like my insides are thrashing about and fighting with each other, and I feel like I'm going to either explode from the pain or curl up and die from it... you are certainly not alone in feeling strong reactions.

I used to do the "HATE, HATE, HATE.." thing too, and initially I found the easiest way to start tackling it was to turn it so instead of hating myself for not dealing with things better, I could say "I HATE being stuck in this situation, I HATE how it makes me feel" and still feel the anger and frustration of how I felt, but started turning it away from myself, and directing it more towards the things that made me feel that way.

As for not being able to talk about things... I have on many occasions arranged what I wanted to say in a word document with bullet points and excerpts from my journal, to use as prompts and to help me stay focussed on the important parts (as I used to often fly off on a tangent about something irrelevent when things got too much, but I gradually became aware I was doing that, and used to use my notes as prompts to reign myself back in stay on track), but in the worst scenarios, I would end up just handing them over saying "please will you just read this because I can't say it to you"... and we did that for quite a while... whereby I was encouraged to just talk about things, but if it got difficult I coyld refer to my notes, and if it became impossible I could just hand them over... and gradually, over time, I learned to be able to talk about things.

Sending you lots of hugs Tracy, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment - I've missed you whilst the site had been being transformed!

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