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If you suffer from an eating disorder now or have in the past, please email Joanna for a free telephone consultation.

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Eating Disorder Recovery
Joanna Poppink, MFT
Eating Disorder Recovery Psychotherapist
serving Arizona, California, Florida and Oregon.
All appointments are virtual.

 

When I was younger, I struggled terribly with separation

My parents could not go out and leave me with a babysitter, I could never sleep over at anyones home, I couldn't hack overnight trips with school or camping with scouts, I struggled with going on holiday, yet once I was there I cried because I didn't want to leave people/places/things behind to come home etc

What I learned though, to cope with most things, was that if I told myself that it was okay, I could get it back if I really needed it - as in call my parents to come home if I really needed them, go home early from overnight trips if necessary, revisit holiday destinations in the future if the need felt so great, keep in touch with people I'd met etc.

Which helped a little

But then that didn't address the "finality" of some situations - mainly death

But I learned that - I never did desperately need to revisit all my old holday haunts, I lost touch with people over time etc,  but what I didn't lose were the memories, and the memories I could revisit and recollect at any time I felt I needed them.

And with death this was the same - the physical being is gone, but the person lives on in my memories, and is not completely lost.

And that is how I feel about therapy... my sessions will end, but my therapist will live on in my head.

Of course there is a fear, that nobody is "as good" as my therapist in my real world, she is in many ways akin to a primary caregiver, but her voice will still be there in my head, pointing me in the right direction.

I have lost a lot of relationships in the last year - my father died, I have cut my mother out of my life, I split from my husband, my children changed schools, my best friend was forced to move away at short notice, I left my main social group because I had changed so much I didn't fit there anymore....

...but life moves on...I have reconnected with old friends - in fact some of the ones who used to be more like acquaintances have become true friends, I have made new friends through my girls new school, I am en route to a new career and have made a couple of friends from that, I have plans to set up a small business, I have started swimming again, I am starting to reacquaint myself with nature and have joined an ecopsychology group....

...I know I will be fine, I will miss my therapist, I will never forget her, she has kickstarted my journey, but this is just the beginning, it is by no means the end :-)

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