I will take this in pieces. I do think a lot about my sexuality. I do shut down. In fact, I wear a diamond on my left ring finger so that men don't approach me to begin with. It's my sheild. I do tend to flirt a lot. I know. I know. You're thinking, but.... See, I enjoy getting the attention, but only on a surface level. I am a master at flirting just enough to get the attention I need, without the committment of anything more. I think I do send out powerful sexual vibes without investing genuine connections. I don't think the man gets either option because I don't allow the relationship to get to that point. Like I said, I don't trust that men really have any compassion beyond what is on a surface level. I don't know how to fix this. I don't want to live this way. I want to believe that someone could actually love me for me.