I guess I didn't explain it well enough...I felt like I was wasting time when I was sitting in session. I realized throughout the day that I had actually gained something from the session. I think some of my motivation today is listening to my body...like I said, I am having heart palpatations and feel shaky. I know I have to do something. so eating today is like an attempt to save myself. The sick part is that once I feel better, I will go back. I am still trying to stay positive don't get me wrong. thanks for your post Jan, its good to know other people know what I am going through :)