A friend of mine always oozes gratitude when she sees me, and I never really understood why, sure I sat an listened and offered support when she was going through a rough patch, but so did all of our friends, so what did I do that was so special, that helped her so much? Eventually she told me what it was, apparently I said to her about herself and her situation, "what would you say if that was your friend, what advice would you give to her?" And that was enough for her to be able to guide herself through her hardships and out of the other side to a better place... ...and so I guess, reflecting in that way the "what would you say if that was your friend?" way, might be a good way to be loyal to yourself and your experience? I think I will remember that, and try it :-)