For psychotherapy success, please know that you can’t make a mistake when you are in psychotherapy. You can’t be wrong about yourself. Whatever you feel or think is part of who you are. This doesn't mean your perspective is helpful to your healing and development. It means that your perspective is what you believe and what guides you in your life.
If you are troubled, your inner self-talk may work against you as you make decisions. So, while you cannot make a mistake in psychotherapy, understanding who you are and what you believe is important. For psychotherapy to succeed, you need to be open to change. You need to be able to look at what you think and feel with a willingness to ask yourself questions and share that process with your psychotherapist.
What you remember or forget, your enthusiasm or reluctance, are expressions of who you are in the moment. They indicate the forces working within your psyche. You may not understand the reasons behind your experience, but reasons exist. Psychotherapy success involves getting to know those forces within you.
Psychotherapy offers a safe and supportive space for individuals to explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Whether seeking therapy to address specific concerns or simply aiming for personal growth and self-discovery, this transformative process requires your participation.
Please remember that your healing journey is your own. Once you have established that you qualify for your therapist’s practice, the only requirement is to show up. The rest will unfold in time.
Here are basic guidelines to achieve psychotherapy success.
Eight Tips for Psychotherapy Success
1. Be on Time for Appointments:
To make the most of your psychotherapy sessions, it's crucial to be punctual and arrive on time. Being punctual demonstrates respect for yourself, your therapist, and the therapeutic process.
Arriving ahead of time allows you to transition calmly into the session, giving you the opportunity to clear your mind and focus on your goals for the day. It is also an ongoing practice of setting and honoring boundaries.
2. Pay Bills on Time:
While discussing finances may initially seem unrelated to psychotherapy, fulfilling your financial commitments promptly is also part of recognizing and honoring boundaries. This also contributes to developing your reliability, honesty, sense of responsibility, commitment, and independence.
3. Respect the Process:
Psychotherapy is a unique and personal journey that requires time and patience. Recognize that change takes time and that progress may not always be linear. Trust the process, even on the days when it feels challenging.
Psychotherapy success includes your embracing the highs and lows of your experience. You can learn and grow more from the lows! You give yourself the time and patience to hold your experience with the help of your psychotherapist. You learn to allow yourself the space to grow and develop at your own pace. Often a client who came in with an eating disorder expresses surprise because the eating disorder is no longer an issue yet we talked very little about it.
The therapeutic process can seem irrelevant and mysterious as we seek meaning and increased strength. Yet, while making progress in this realm, an eating disorder fades. It’s no longer needed to protect the person in life. At this stage in your psychotherapy, you are exploring the forces that pushed you into developing an eating disorder. You are reaching emotional and psychological levels that hold deep and permanent solutions to your distress.
4. Bring Your Pain, Sorrow, Anger, Fear, Joy, Humiliation, and More:
One of the most significant advantages of psychotherapy is the opportunity to express and explore a wide range of emotions freely. Don't shy away from sharing your deepest and most authentic feelings.
Your therapist provides a nonjudgmental space, allowing you to process and understand these emotions more healthily and constructively. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed of what you are experiencing, you learn to take a necessary risk with courage to reveal what’s happening. That is important to your increased development and inner strength.
5. Be Honest:
Honesty plays a pivotal role in the therapeutic process. Openly share your thoughts, experiences, and reactions with your therapist. Authenticity fosters trust and helps them understand your unique perspective.
Remember, your therapist is there to support you, and their guidance is often more effective when they clearly understand your truth. Sometimes, you can’t tell the truth because you don’t know it.
You may tell untruths because you believe them. That’s part of the process. Eventually, your work with your therapist will untangle false beliefs about yourself and others, especially yourself. That's a truth too.
6. Bring Your Dreams and Aspirations:
Your dreams and aspirations are as important as your struggles. Share your goals, ambitions, and dreams with your therapist. They can help you identify the steps needed to achieve them and work towards a more fulfilling life.
By integrating your dreams into psychotherapy, you'll discover what your unconscious is trying to tell you. Dreams try to provoke your conscious mind into seeing, working on, or knowing something you are wary about.
7. Bring Your Bewilderment:
Sometimes, we may feel puzzled or confused about our emotions or behaviors. Don't hesitate to bring your bewilderment into psychotherapy. Your therapist can help you navigate complex emotions and provide insights that may help you better understand yourself.
Together, you'll untangle those inner knots and make meaning out of confusion. Often, simply sitting together and sharing your experience without judgment will bring unexpected clarity to your situation.
8. Practice Self-Care Between Sessions:
Therapy is not solely confined to the therapist's office. To enhance the effectiveness of your sessions, prioritize self-care outside of therapy. Engage in activities that promote relaxation, self-reflection, and personal growth.
Whether it's journaling, meditation, exercising, or spending time with creative people who practice self-care, take care of yourself in a way that aligns with your needs. Embarking on a journey of psychotherapy is an empowering step toward self-discovery, personal growth, and healing.
Following these eight tips, you can use your energies to make your psychotherapy more effective. Remember to be timely, respectful, honest, and open to exploring a wide range of emotions.
Stay committed to the process and accept your challenges and triumphs. Through this transformative experience, you'll heal and gain new awareness and internal strength to cope well with your losses and gains in life. You will embrace new opportunities with wisdom and more courage than you believed you had.
Books, Resources and References for Psychotherapy Success
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The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown:.
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The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
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Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson
- Mind Remake Project’s Therapist-Recommended Books mind remake project
- Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder by Joanna Poppink
- Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth, by Robert Johnson
- Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, by Robert Johnson
- We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love, by Robert Johnson
Additional Recommendations:
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
Why Therapy Works by Louis Cozolino
Embracing Your Inner Critic by Hal Stone and Sidra Stone
The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller
How to Make Friends and Support Your Eating Disorder Recovery
Bulimia Urges Over 40: A New Challenge in Mature Years
Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Written by Joanna Poppink, MFT. Joanna is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in eating disorder recovery, stress, PTSD, and adult development.
She is licensed in CA, AZ, OR and FL. Author of the Book: Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder
Appointments are virtual.
For a free telephone consultation, e-mail her at
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