So just as I am healing from my back injury, I develop more health problems. I have been experiencing a lot of generalized weakness, shortness of breath, leg pain, and very swollen ankles. 

I put off going to the doctor for too long, as always. I ended up in the emergency room a few nights ago and it seems I may have some cardiac issues. I will see a cardiologist Tuesday. 

I am so frustrated over all of these health issues. I have missed a lot of work. Thank God my bosses are very understanding. Thank God I have been with my company almost 20 years. 

I am thinking about what I am learning through all of this.  I don't really know. I guess I will have more to digest if the cardiology appt gives me bad news. 

Of course, I would be angry with myself, wondering if all my years of starving, binging and purging, etc., landed me here at such a young age (44). 

I am really scared right now. I tell myself right now that I will stop all that madness and take care of myself.  But will I ? I hope for my girls I would. Is this the "scare" I need to get my act together and do what's healthy ?

I pray I'm not going to learn the hard way.