Trusting the process

I am going through one of those times when I am frustrated that understanding what is going on does not change where I'm at in my recovery process. When I get in this place I convince myself that I'm not doing enough and I'm not doing the right things. Then I go searching for the right things in order to conquer the things I want to change and I don't do the basics in terms of nourishment( physical and mental). I feel shame around being where I'm at because I realize that I'm self sabatoging even though I knonw exactly what to do...eat and feel. Something must be keeping me from wanting to recover. Hmmmmm.