Dear Tracy,

Thank you for posting this.  Your inner dialogue as you try to rate your level of pain and discomfort is a powerful challenge.  All of us have to do this, but not all of us have Lupus and need to do this regularly.

This week end I had expected to be on the other side of the country for a high school reunion.  I was looking forward to it.  But I came down with a bug. And there's the inner conversation.  "I'm not that sick."  "Yeah, but your vulnerable and flying plus the stress of taxis, hotels will assault you."  "But I might get better in time."  "Dream on. You head is slightly stuffed.  Do you know what happens to a stuffy head when the pressure changes at altitude?"  "But I could take a nasal decongestant via sniffing before I get on the plane."  Do you want to take that risk? It's a longish flight." "No. I don't want that pain. And I don't want to be sick alone in a hotel room 3,000 miles away from home either."  "All right then. Cancel the flight and see if you can get some money back and send your regrets."  "Okay."


Your situation is more about physical pain that is a familiar occurrence.  Can you device a system that helps you evaluate your pain, preferably in a non emergency time?

I wonder if it's possible for you to create a realistic rating system that can guide you, even when your emotions lead you into negative self talk.

Then you might have more confidence is your decision to say yes or no.

I just looked up, "rating pain on a scale of 1 - 10" on google. I got over 29 million sites. You are certainly not alone in trying to discriminate between levels of pain.  Perhaps you could find a scale or several scales and work with them to create your own that works for you.

Thank you so much for bringing up the importance of pain evaluation in saying yes or no.

And, I have a favorite thrift shop where I bring my still usable recyclables.  Just today I brought in three bags of children's videos and DVD's plus two lamp shades.  Someone will be glad to have them, and I'm glad for the freed up space. :)