I'm sorry to hear about your arm - please make sure you get the rest you need, the fact that you are reading and with us in thought, is more than enough! 

Thanks for your advice Joanna, I may do a bit of re-reading and reflecting over the next few days.

To be honest my life is in a bit of a whirl these last few days, so much happening, some good, some not so good. I got back from finding out I'd passed my experiential training and that I'm now qualified to counsel children through play, not only to my mother's email, but also to the offer of a counselling role in a school a few miles away starting after the summer break - very exciting but a bit scary too; and also news that my estranged husband has now changed his name to a female name by deed poll and has notified all the relative people and organisations of the name change, has started working with the HR team at work so that he can be full-time female, and that he's about to start hormone treatment - which I also have mixed feelings about, pleased for him, scared for our girls, and feeling the loss a ittle bit myself. And subsequently his mother wanting to chat to me about how his father can't face seeing him, his brother wants to be supportive but has banned him from going to their house and seeing his nephews, and how she could never disown her own child but needs to impose boundaries and conditions upon the relationship she wants with him. ("him" should probably be "her", but I'm still getting the hang of that one). And of course the never ending mountain of uni work.

And so my mother's news does have an impact, but it is amongst so much other stuff that's going on, that I'm fairly okay about it. I know I am getting what I always said I wanted, for her to leave me alone to get on with my life and I am relatively pleased and relieved, that that is the case.

I think the thing that bothers me is that I'd always said that although I didn't want a full-on relationship with her, that I was always there if she needed me for anything - and I did mean that, because I do care, about her, and there was something reassuring for me in knowing that I was only 5 mins away if anything happened or she needed me for anything. Now I'm going to be 45 mins away and that feels wrong, because I can't respond and be there almost instantly if a crisis or emergency occured.