Thanks, Joanna. I log onto this site every morning and every evening. It has been so helpful to read your blogs and the comments of those who are recovering or seeking recovery. It is helpful to read your book. It is helpful to see my therapist. I have been logging on for almost a month now. The past several days I have felt a bit less obsessed and guilty over food consumption. I think my zoloft is finally kicking in as well, which is helping me to actually be able absorb all the things I am reading and to be able to "hear" my therapist when she talks to me. We have been dealing with the above in therapy for a while, yet I still have such difficulty being present when the subject of my grandfather comes up. What I am trying to say is that I am so grateful I found this site. I am going to obsess over my recovery as much as i obsess over my illness. I am going to bug the hell out of you and my therapist until I can navigate this course better on my own...lol. I do need to "pick up the development that stopped when the abuse started", which means I am about 5 years old...hmmmmm...when I think about my almost 5 year old navigating the world on her own it scares me...but I guess that's exactly what I have been doing for so long. I think I have done amazing despite this, if I look at it like that. Deep breath...and thank you.