thank you for your response, Joanna. I appreciate the time it took for you to write this. I hope you did not think I was insinuating that you were a "fraud". I was just wondering if you ever felt like you were two different people. I did not realize you were already in recovery. So I guess I am left wondering if it is a safe idea for me to be working with acutely ill patients while I am not doing well. there are days that I can't bear listening to the stories, but I plug on because I have children and I have bills to pay. I have talked to my therapist about taking a medical leave and I have atleast a month of paid time. I just want to use it constructively, not just laying around the house. thank you for all of your suggestions and ideas about how to use your book. I have particulary good coping skills, except in this one (huge) area of my life, believe it or not. :) I would love to go to one of the two ED support groups held in our city, but I feel that I know too many people, both facilitators and patients. I don't feel I could share. Again, thank you for your response. It is helpful. Tracy