Looking at the mountain as a call to climb is very different from getting into the psychological frame where you ARE the mountain. It takes some meditation practice, and it makes a vast difference in how you feel and respond. I've been thinking about you and your posts on the forum. And yes, "just getting up everyday and putting one foot in front of the other," instead of "staying in bed and closing the world off" is an act of courage, determination, loyalty and... drum roll please....... solid recovery work. AA says, "trudge the path to happy destiny." And sometimes we have to trudge. It pays off, Tracy. Trudging pays off.