it does, Joanna. And I had posted on the
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it does, Joanna. And I had posted on the forum a bit ago, a little about my attempts at trudging by doing the HHH exercises. My therapist and I spoke about boundaries today, as a matter of fact. how I need to take better care of myself and put myself and my kids first. I spread myself so thin. I take care of, and listen to, people's problems all day...come home to difficulties with my child with autism and her sister's jealousy over the attention that child gets. the trust part is hard right now because everything seems so hopeless right now...feel like I have tried and tried and tried. However, here I am, trying again. I guess that is the best thing I can do. I also shared with my therapist today how mad I am, how angry I am at being in a place like this emotionally. Trudging is all I can do right now. I am glad that trudging is a good thing. I still have a little faith left in me that perhaps this time, things will be better. If I didn't have a little faith I would completely give up, which I have not done. Scared I will get to that point, but haven't gotten there yet. In fact, my boss called me tonight and asked if I needed tomorrow off, as I had left work early today in tears because I just couldn't focus. I decided that I will go to work. I feel that staying home will just give me more time to sit and think, and thinking is not always a good thing. It is nice to know that my supervisors are supportive and I have a great track record at my job, I have always been a very reliable, dependable and hard working employee. I discussed limit setting with my therapist today in regards to my patients. I tend to do too much, even doing things for them or their families after they are discharged in regards to continuing care. It only adds to my patient load to have a full roster, only to add discharged patients to this load. I genuinely feel for my patients, and I want to help them...but lately I have felt angry with them because I am spending all of my energy on helping them, and not enough on helping myself. I am trudging, though, and trying to figure out ways to get some respite. I am planning a little vacation next month with just my kids...hey! i just realized i am future planning...I haven't done a lot of that lately. that is progress for me today.