I'm kind of at this point right now wher

I'm kind of at this point right now where I feel like there's not point in even trying to change because I'll never be able to and I should just keep on living this way. It's what I know, and have known for so long that it seems impossible. I had to eat meals for two days in a row and I couldn't wait until I got back to my apartment and didn't have to eat real meals again. If I can't handle 2 days of real meals, how could I possibly do it everyday...on my own.