I'm glad you wrote in, Jan. You may be thinking and feeling that one thing "will work." Frustration and feelings of defeat that you describe often come up when a person thinks that they have everything they need to get well except the right attitude or the strength or the will power. That kind of thinking can put you in the defeated mode you describe. What's required is development. The kind of recovery effort that works is the kind that helps and supports you to grow in psychological, emotional and spiritual ways. As you develop these internal areas you find that you have more inner resources to cope with your challenges. Healing Your Hungry Heart will help you develop internally so that what is absent in your psyche will become present. If you keep trying to do a task that requires a tool you don't have, you will feel frustrated and defeated. You need to acquire the tool. Doing the exercises in Healing Your Hungry Heart stimulates the kind of growth you need that helps you move into real freedom. Please write again and let us know how you are doing.