I hadn't read this before, Joanna. I c

I hadn't read this before, Joanna. I can identify many ways that I contribute to breaking my own heart. Often all of them boil down to one thing. Not feeling that I am as good as everyone else. I don't feel pretty enough, so there have been times that I did nothing to improve my self-image. there are times that I leave the house and go to work without my makeup, and with my hair carelessly thrown into a messy bun. I contribute to breaking my own heart when I refuse to work on my recovery because it is : too hard, too demanding, too uncomfortable, etc. When I stay sick because I am too scared to get better. Because I am too scared to feel. I contribute to breaking my heart when I lack the courage to try. I contribute to breaking my own heart when i don't ask for help, or when i refuse help offered, when I put myself down, when I call my self names. I contribute to breaking my own heart when i let other people tell me how to feel, think, act. When I don't say "enough" or "stop". I am starting to mend these things as I am feeding my starved brain, and taking my meds. These two steps have helped me to be able to absorb everything you have written in your book, Joanna. Now I can start to process things for real. what did it take for me to start eating better? A racing heart, feeling faint all the time, fatique, irritability...my kids who deserve better. A desire to figure out how staying sick is going to benefit me..(because it won't). I am working hard on recovery at this moment. I am taking it day by day. tracy