Hi Tracy - I get where you are with both these points- I wouldn't say you wasted your money with your therapist at all- look what a valuable lesson you learned- Also sometimes when we have nothing to say isn't it ok ? Can you make it ok- or did you have something you wanted to say and didn't ? Think there is a difference- Sometimes its ok to not have anything to say, maybe you were just assimilating new thoughts and experiences as you have had a lot going on recently and new successes – Celebrate them silently with yourself., acknowledge them. Also the good thing sometimes about not having anything to say is we are more open to listening and taking on new things - Try to be curious and interested in what is going on for you - Rather than seeing things as good or bad- "be curious" and say i wonder why this is happening, isn't it interesting....... : ) and it is! Regarding the "shock" moments which your therapist presented you with- I have these too a lot and am very interesting and I would love to know more about them Joanna could you help please-? I'm particularly interested in the fact why we can't keep it- we get sick or feel unwell or someone else gives us the shock insights we cant see ,then its like a release happens inside and all of a sudden we are " free" and allow ourselves food and for me it feels sooooo good like wow, its over have done it I like feeling so good about this-all my defenses are down and am eating well- how come it doesn't last? mine seems to subside once I start feeling good again - Would love some insights into this - thanks Joanna