Dear PTC, Sounds like your getting more clarity every minute! I hope you bring her a written list of your questions and concerns since saying them outloud to her is difficult for you. Some people draw their feelings too. You have many ways to communicate. One point I'd like to comment on. You wrote, "I don't want her to think I'm choosing the ED over her,..." Please know that as much as you and your therapist care about each other (and that's vital in recovery) this issue at hand seems to be: choosing the ED over your healing or recovery work. It sounds like the two of you have created a wonderful therapeutic relationship. It's tough when issues come up that seem to turn the relationship into a pwer struggle. When that happens it's a sign that eating disorder governed perceptions are coming up. You know that control issues are a big part of eating disorders. If this seems relevant to your situation you might consider putting control issues on your list of issues to explore with her. Good luck tomorrow!