Dear Laura, Thank you for your most important sharing here. People with a history of restricting are often trying to make themselves small in psychological as well as physical ways. The word "thin" gets everyone mixed up with appearance, fashion trends and cultural demands. Getting small means less visible and.... less of a target for whatever you feel is out to get you, including your own punishing judgements on yourself. So, believing that you are "special" means that you stand out amongst others, and that's the last thing you want. It's the antithesis of the restriction goal. Being okay, being just enough, being adequate to the task, being human which means feeling and behaving in ways that are within human capability are safer and more realistic ways of looking at yourself. If someone says, "You are special," it could well mean that you are special to that person. That's different. That has to do with love and caring. For example, if you are in a room with many children, your child will stand out as special to you, even if he or she is a normal, healthy, wonderfully ordinary person with unique gifts. I hope you will take the journey of moving through the chapters of Healing Your Hungry Heart. And please, let me know how you are doing and what you think. Thank you again for your valuable comment. I'm certain it will be of help to others. You are not alone in these feelings. warm regards, Joanna