Dear Kym, You learning the power of an eating disorder to block your awareness of life and the challenges you face in healing. You now have a greater understanding and appreciation of what it means to not be ready to hear something because you can hear what you couldn't hear before, and you know it. When the eating disorder blocks you from life you can't know or relate to rich here and now life experiences. When the eating disorder lifts, even a little, you get a glimpse of what was invisisble or incomprehensible or boring or irrelevant before. You get an opportunity with this realization. You learn there is more to being alive than you knew. Once you know that you will be more open to trust people who have earned your respect and allow them to introduce you to even more ways of being present for your life. Hopefully, the first of these people will be your therapist. :) Isn't it a great to feel alive?