Droped my youngest off to see my mother for a couple of hours after school yesterday, and when I went to collect her, rather than the quick 5 minute discussion on the doorstep, I went in the house and stayed 45 mins.
It was okay - I put my foot down when she started quizzing me about my finances, she started and I said "mum, my finances are fine", to which I got "well how much are you paying for X, are you still paying for Y, do you pay for Z still, is he giving you money to care for the children? how much...."and I just put on my stern voice that I use with the girls and repeated "mum, my finances are fine", and she dropped it.
There was one comment before I left about how it's a shame that I'm a person who gains weight when I'm upset/stressed rather than loses it, because if I'd lost the amount that I'd gained recently....
And I just thought don't you dare let this get to you, and replied "yes, it's a shame isn't it"
Other than that it actually felt quite good to chat with her - I realise there are lots of things I need to navigate with her - like her being a feeder, and not being able to deal with my requests to moderate things a bit (a 4 year old doesn't need 2 bars of chocolate, a packet of fruit gums, a bag of chips and a bottle of sweet sugary drink, as well as a proper meal with dessert - which is what she got yesterday over a 2.5 hour period, and mum doesn't respect my requests to curb it a bit, instead she tells my girls that I said they can't have a treat - which is not true, all I ask is that it's 1 treat, rather than 5).
But I'm working on things!