Thanks Joanna...I guess when I say "remedy this" it's not the entire situation or the journey of discovery that I want to be free from, it's those ingrained beliefes and voices, that I feel I am constantly battling against...the voices that won't even allow me enough self worth to recognise that I have an ED, they jump in and say "you're just making excuses because you are fat and lazy and just looking for ways to blame others because you look a mess, throw that stupid HHH book in the bin, it doesn't apply to you, it's for people who really have problems, not lazy people like you" And of course there is a part of me now, that can counter that argument, and knows it's not true, but it's not established enough that it overides the other stuff naturally...I feel like I have to keep thinking and fighting or I will just succumb to all the negative stuff.