still struggling with some wild feelings. I can get very bogged down in my depression and anxiety. My doctor is working very aggressively to get my meds straight. the last one we tried made me terribly anxious and suicidal...that's no way to feel, so we stopped that one as soon as we knew how dangerous it was for me. So, as I "trudge" through this time, trying to hope that things will get better, I have come to terms with some very important facts. I need to change my career. My current job is too stressful for me and constantly reminds me of my own depression and anxiety issues. I am in a job where I am supposed to be helping others feel better, but i can hardly get to work...My mountain, my strength, my core, is my ability to keep steadfast and do the things I need to do everyday to get through the day. I get to work, I take care of my kids, I pay my bills, I am there for my friends, I help my aging parents, I carpool and PTA....perhaps slower and with less will and desire, but these things get done. I am not giving up right now. I do feel like it often. I am so grateful for a therapist who nudges me to keep going. I don't think I will be able to keep working in the field I am in, and I believe that if nothing else has come of this horrible time in my life, I have learned that I need a career change. It is imperative. I just need the energy, and we are working on that. I have been placed on yet another medication for anxiety that may cause weight gain....but you now what? Right now, I just want to feel better. I can't worry about both right now...so i guess prioritizing these issues is a move in the right direction as well. I am totally meaning this as a positive post, so I hope it is being read as such. I am glad the site is back up and I am so happy to be able to talk to you guys again!