I just read this blog post again because I am in a very desperate panicky place. A lot has been going on in my life the past few months. I entered a weekend eating disorder intensive program and had to quit after two weekends because my mother has been doing very poorly and my dad needed me. Of course, I drop everything I'm working on for my health because I deeply care for my parents and only a couple of my 10 siblings will do anything to help them.

i had to call the police on my mom about a month ago. She has dementia with agitation. She threw a vacuum at me and hit my dad, threatened to stab the cat and kill other family members and herself.
it was a hard thing for me to do. But she finally got put on Meds as she has refused to go to a doctor.

We have to crush her meds but they are kicking in and she is less hostile than before. She's even agreed to go to the doctor. 

I have been really anoxious and depressed because I have way too much on me. I also have bought a new home. I have so little time to get packed and cleaned. I'm exhausted from my lupus and my stress level is not allowing my blood sugars to dip under 250 for the past 4 months. 

My family expects me to have all the answers. After all, I work with patients with dementia and their families. So I do things that I feel are in her best interest. I educate my family on her Meds and get orders for home health. I make appointments. I go to the appointments when she wont.
but all I get is resistance from my family. why this Med? Why did the doctor do this or that? Why did I not get the appointment sooner? Why dont I call mom every day?

im at a breaking point and need some advice on how to deal with all this stress. I try to set limits but that backfires too.

i need a vacation so bad. I feel I have no safe place - home is stressful with a 14 year old acting up and work stays stressful. I feel like I caretake 24/7. No, I do caretake 24/7. 

the only thing remotely relevant to this blog posting, I'm now realizing, is that I have been sorting out things as I pack. I regularly give things away to a free cycle Facebook page I belong to. I need to get moving with the pacKing utilizing the sorting method above, but I'm almost immobilized with anxiety
 to get hardly anything done. 

guys i could use some suggestions for getting it together. I want to just pack up my kids and go to the beach for a few days but funds don't allow it right now. 

Thanks <3
tracy