I've realised in 2 different ways this week, that life without any challenges isn't really living.
After spending 3 months working just 1 day a week and enjoying being the homemaker/mummy, the last month has seen things really pick up again, I'm back at uni now, I'm attending some additional training through work, I'm catching up with friends I haven't seen for a while, I recently spent a few nights unexpectedly sleeping next to my daughter in hospital (she got appendicitis and had her appendix removed), and her becoming more dependent upon me during those first few days home...
...it's made me realise that I feel alive again, and that I don't need the quiet, stress-free life that I really thought I needed, the one that was the opposite of the all systems go, overworked, overtired, stressed-out lifestyle that I had for the first 10 months of 2013. what I actually need is something in between, a kind of low-level stress, a bit of a challenge, rather than nothing stressful and challenging at all.
I also realised today, after really pushing myself to agree to being filmed talking about myself, to be shown at an awards dinner, that despite thinking I really didn't want to do it (years of hang ups about my voice and appearance, made me hate being videoed or voice recorded in any way, I struggle with hearing myself speak on the phone, and I won't Skype or Facetime people), that what started out as a bit daunting was actually quite enjoyable, quite good fun, and gave me a little confidence boost - it made me see how important these challenges are.
There is just something so invigorating about doing something you thought you couldn't do, something that says "well if I can do this, then what else am I capable of doing?" that has sparked a host of new ideas about things I wished I could do, but didn't feel capable of.
Life feels good at the moment, like I'm being awoken again after a short spell of hibernation
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