I'm sorry, but I've told myself for a couple days not to respond to you PTC, but I have too. I'm a restricter and there's no way it was safer or less stressful from years ago when I was a purger!! Sure, both make you feel safe for the moment that they numb hard feelings, but once you can stand to the side and honestly take a look at your life, restricting is not less stress nor safer!! Maybe you don't know what's going on because startvation has made your reality a blurr, but trust me, now that I'm out of it, I was more stressed than I would have been facing any of my feelings!! I almost lost my job, I pushed away my friends and my partner and I was physically so weak I wasn't functional anymore. But I wasn't aware of it all until I went into treatment and started to eat again. I use to think I wasn't as bad off, or somehow I protecting my body because I wasn't a purger, but now I realize (and am still learning) how wrong I was!! My head was filled with just as much terror and voices as Joanna wrote about only my voices were "blessed" by the diet industry and media so I thought it was all good. No one could tell me the things I'm saying right now because I wasn't ready to hear it. I really pray you're more open than I was and that you get help. Sorry if I over-stepped my boundaries, but I've heard purgers wish they were restricters and it scares the crap out of me!!! We can't afford to glorify any part of an ED!!!