I feel like in every near-relapse or mini-relapse, is another secret wanting to surface, another moment of realisation waiting to happen. Every time I go round the cycle of wanting to binge, wanting to quit, wanting to feel calmer and more in control...I get a little bit stronger, a bit more tolerant, and I get to know myself a little bit more! And as I go round and round this upward spiral, I'm starting to realise that being me isn't all that bad, I'm stronger than I sometimes give myself credit for, I have some nice, positive qualities that I often fail to acknowledge, and maybe I'm not the person that those people in my past wanted me to be and wanted to make me into, but d'you know what, I'm better than that thing they wanted me to be, cos the person that I am is real!