Help me bear this pain. Profound for me,

Help me bear this pain. Profound for me, and timely. I will see my therapist tomorrow. I spoke about my session last week as being disastrous for me as I shut down. I am trying not to be so hard on myself about it, but the reason I shut down is directly tied into the fact that I have such difficulty "bearing the pain" of my past abuse. I shut down, I get funny feelings in my body, I drift off. Tomorrow my goal is to be as present as I can be. So bearing the pain for me starts with being able to be present. I am going to ask my therapist to help me stay present so I can do the work. Thank you so much, Joanna for knowing what to say. Of all the meaningful words of wisdom you place on this site, this has been the one that has affected my emotions the most. I think this is because I cannot do any work without being able to sit thru the pain and process it in a present mind. I truly feel that if I can work thru my abuse and how it has affected my whole life, this eating disorder will work itself out.