Sometimes I need to listen, acknowledge, and comfort myself before I can "hold" or create a safe haven that I can step into and allow myself the healing or transforming that I need. My ability to put my hands on the steering wheel and direct my emotional and physical health life to express joy and happiness has been a journey that I judge to be uneventful, mainly because I compare it to my expectations and what I percieve other's lives to be. I continue to hear the same message that I have heard since my early teens....manage the emotion, or "waves" as Joanna describes. When I did the EST training some 30 years ago, the message was, "Are you your word or what shows up"? (what shows up after you say or commit to something...like " i don't feel like it, I am tired, etc.)
I know that this truth is worming its way into my awareness and my "habit" with food is the deepest external excess I have been reluctant to let go of. After 40, omg, years of bingeing, purging, starving, overeating, gaining/losing that extra 20 pounds, I am today, more aware of this "habit" that I can say no to, ride the wave, and be the sea. Like I said, my progress has been painfully slow and I wish it only lasted a few years like I hear alot of younger gals claim, but my ability to let go of this well developed habit has been slower than I would expect of myself...but that is just the judge trying to mess with me. Staying in today and watching the waves....thank you for that visual Joanna.
Giving myself what I truly need...
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