Each person experiences grief in their own way and in their own time. It can helpful to appreciate that the death of a person with whom you had a resolved relationships is less painful and challenging than your experience with the death of a person with whom you had a difficult and unresolved relationship. People are often surprised that pain over the death of a parent, or any person, is less than they imagined it would be. They didn't have unfinished business and could feel sadness at the loss but also warmth and goodness with the felt memories of the relationship. When someone important in your life dies and you had a difficult, chaotic, bewildering or painful relationship, you might be surprised at the force of your grief. Much was unresolved and now never will be resolved with the living person. There's no tomorrow to work things out. Sensitive ritual can help in such situations. Shh, you've started talking about your father here. Maybe it's time to bring him up with your therapist. Are you continuing to see her?