Dear Tracy, Slow and easy is the pace
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Dear Tracy, Slow and easy is the pace. If you are not ready to touch her, just let yourself be near her, or as close as you can bear. This is a time when I recommend that you participate in activities designed for the young. Read children's stories. Make pictures with crayons. Try doing that with your non dominant hand sometimes. Looking at this reminds you of your pain. The child, which is a part of you, did not cause the pain. She received it and still holds it. You can help yourself release it by helping yourself to be safe, loved, protected and nurtured. You do not have to find a way to turn the images into something positive. That is a cognitive, problem solving task that will not work, just as a decision to grow up or dance well accomplishes the goal. You make a decision to find your way to help her. Every move you make in her direction, however tiny, is part of your bridge building. And those moves make you stronger and more capable for the next. And every move you make shows her, that part of you, that you are on your way. That's all that is needed now. How old is she in this image? Find TV programming that is right for her. Backyardigans? Calliou? Little Bear? Take some time in your day to give her something that is right for her. You don't have to touch her. You can sit alongside and watch something together. It's a beginning.