in reading this again I wanted to comment on the inner voices that have kept me in the "giving and giving and giving" routine. I think that people with ED are especially prone to putting others needs above there own. So, why does it happen? For me its several reasons.

First, I don't feel my needs are as important as others. I am working on this by realizing that when I do this to myself, I'm also doing this to my kids. In realizing that their needs were being put second along with mine, I have been able to work through some of this. 

Second, I don't like disapproval. I don't like thinking someone is upset with me. That goes back a long way and has a lot to do with rarely being able to have my voice heard and keeping silent about my abuse. 

Intherapy I am working on ways to say no, especially when it comes to taking care of my needs. Trying to say no and not feel bad or "taking it back" takes work too. 

like I said. One day at a time.