breathing...breathing..... I sometimes

breathing...breathing..... I sometimes get these phone calls from my mom where she is going off the deep end complaining about my dad or my sister. The irony is that often, the things she is complaining about in them, are the very things she does herself. Anyway. I just got off the phone with her. Our conversation was stressful. I was just trying to listen. At one point I became the bad person because I didn't completely agree with her that my dad is "a bad person who is going to hell". She gets quite hypomanic and jumps from subject to subject with no ability to be introspective. I just tried to listen. I was laughing at myself because I caught myself with my finger to my head shooting like a gun while she was in her rant. She makes one feel that crazy ! I did get off the phone and instead of getting angry and irritated, I breathed. I let it roll off my back a little more than I normally would. She is just a person is my mantra. Yes, she is my mom, but she is also just a person...I am a person too. My life is important, my sanity is important. so many times in my life, I have allowed myself to be reactive to her emotional rants. I do this with others too. I tend to take these rants personally, while they really aren't about me at all. So, I didn't get so defensive with this call. When I frame my mothers emotional meltdowns like this (and she has always had many), I find myself feeling sorry for her, not angry or frustrated with myself for not being the person she wants me to be at that moment. just sharing a breakthrough. tracy