Firstly, Tracy, I just want to say that I can remember when you first started getting those strong body memories and how difficult therapy was for you around that time - it sounds like you have come so far and are really starting to work on the abuse behind those sensations, sounds like you and your therapist have a really good working relationship.
Secondly Joanna, I just want to say thank you for this blog post! Whilst I don't really experience the type of body memories you describe, I do find that when I stop using food to get by, I become very sexual - frequently aroused and desiring sex. After finally getting to grips with my relapsed eating over the last few weeks, I am finding this happening more and more, and realise that I've been relapsed for so long that I'd forgotten all about this secondary coping mechanism that I'm faced with in recovery. Your post reminded me that I had successfully tracked this sexualised behaviour and managed to make sense of it, and that when I'm feeling "in the mood" all the time, that actually, apart from around ovulation time (when it's kinda natural), that it's a sign that I'm feeling inadequate, and that I can successfully deal with it by asking myself "what's making you feel inadequate? what is it about? Is it justified? what can you do about it?" Sometimes it's sufficient just to question myself in my head, whilst at other times I need to sit and journal properly to get to the bottom of things and vent my feelings.
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