So my mom and I have had a bad relationship my entire life.  About 1.5 years ago I set some strong boundaries and she's stuck to them....or at least when she messes up and I point it out she backs down. 

These last 3 weeks her husband of 30 years is dying.  I'm totally surprised he's made it this long.  He is ready to go and she is ready to let him go.  I've been spending a lot of time at the nursing home mostly to support her through this.  She has actually talked to me about feelings of grief.  I wondered why the universe had taken my dog from me a month ago and I now know it was so I could relate to what my mom is feeling right now.  The fact that she is sharing true feelings with me (other than "you make me so ....."), is a first! 

The interesting thing is that she doesn't expect this support from me.  She was shocked when I said that I would be going to the funeral.  She's expecting his family to be mean to her (they are currently giving her a hard time) and even if I didn't want to do it for her husband, I want to be there to support her.  It made her very happy but it made me wonder how she honestly sees me.  Does she see me as some cold person, or does she feel like she's messed up too much for me to care.  I may never know but I do feel like things are changing between us.