Loyalty is a Vital Part of Eating Disorder Recovery

Army Good Conduct Medal - It's what we earn in recovery. :)

Being loyal to yourself means standing by yourself, being a friend to yourself, and seeing yourself through a tough time.

Can you be loyal to yourself? Can you be steadfast and loyal to your body, heart and soul during good times and bad?

If you commit to being loyal to yourself, then you stay present and kind to your authentic self WHILE you are feeling fear, rage and despair - WHILE you are feeling wild cravings - WHILE you want to act out in destructive ways.

You are no longer loyal to destructive behaviors, and you want to act out. Nor are you loyal to being resigned to accepting negative feelings about yourself.

This quote came to me about a week ago, and it still reverberates. Perhaps you know the feeling? It's when I feel a tiny pinprick of an opening that I feel certain leads to vast or profound new awareness.

When we practice meditation, we are strengthening
our ability to be steadfast with ourselves.
No matter what comes up - aching bones, boredom, falling asleep,
or the wildest thoughts and emotions -
we develop a loyalty to our experience.
- Pema Chödrön

The first part is familiar and part of what I know, believe and share. The last four words articulated more awareness for me. If you are loyal to yourself and loyal to your experience, simultaneously, you undermine periods of fear, guilt and unreasonable desire.

Loyalty to our experience. The phrase gives us a place to stand while we experience what we experience. That helps us learn and understand our experience while remaining true to our authentic selves.

Journalling and mindfulness practices do that. So does meaningful time with your psychotherapist. So does sitting quietly with yourself and watching your breath. The power of the phrase rests in the word "loyalty."

What do you know about loyalty?

1. Where do you have or see loyalty in your life?
2. Who or what is loyal to you?
3. How and where are you loyal?
4. Can you spot misplaced loyalty in your life?
5. Can you see where you might need more loyalty for your own experiences
6. What stories come to your mind about loyalty?

Let your mind range over the concept of loyalty until it is real for you. Then bring it to yourself so you can be loyal to your experience and remain steadfast to your authentic self during your emotional storms.

Please write in the comment section what loyalty means to you and how you can be loyal to your experience.

Army Good Conduct Medal

• The eagle, with wings spread, denotes vigilance and superiority
• The horizontal sword denotes loyalty
• The book presents knowledge acquired and ability gained
• The lone star on the reverse denotes merit
• The wreath of laurel and oak leaves denotes reward and strength

Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Written by Joanna Poppink, MFT. Joanna is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in eating disorder recovery, stress, PTSD, and adult development.

She is licensed in CA, AZ, OR, and FL. Author of the Book: Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder

Appointments are virtual.

For a free telephone consultation, e-mail her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.