Being Your Own Best Friend

If you have an eating disorder you often feel at war with yourself. Everything seems black or white, good or bad including yourself. This doesn't have to be so.

Resisting eating disorder urges and cravings becomes a moral issue. You judge yourself good if you resist and bad if you succumb.

Yet you are all of what you feel and wish for. You can't destroy a part of yourself to allow another part to live freely. You need to find a way to befriend yourself.

Suppose you set aside the battle between black and white and looked for ways to be kind to yourself. How could each side of you befriend the other?

To start you off, here's a writing exercise.

1.   Choose any situation where you are fighting within yourself about a choice:

For example, to binge or not

to call someone or not

to attend a function or not

2.   Write out and answer these questions twice, once to each side of yourself.

a. what benefits do you get from getting your way?

b. what might getting your way cost you?

3.   Breathe for ten breaths, watching your breath move through your body and pay attention to what you experience in your body in great detail.

4.   Ask each side of yourself:

a.   how can I help you?

b.   what specific action can I take that will ease your situation?

5. Ask each side of yourself:

a. what's the first step I need to take to earn your trust?

b. what's the first step I can take to be your friend?