Tonight I received a moving comment on this blog from Judy, 60 years old and recovering from anorexia. Please look at the comments under Eating Disorders in Women over 40 (or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80+) for her letter. Her post shows that recovery can begin at any age and that it's never too late to begin.
Open Letter to Judy Here is my open letter in response to her. I hope this conversation invites other older women, still living in the shadows of their eating disorder, to step out into recovery.
Dear Judy, Thank you for sharing your journey. I'm glad to know you are finding your way to recovery and helping others along the way.
Power of Love Love clearly comes through your post. Wise, caring, courageous and committed love is essential for eating disorder recovery at any age. Perhaps older women appreciate this more than young women and can help bring this awareness to everyone with an eating disorder through sharing as you have done. Your granddaughter loves you and is caring and courageous in bringing up her concern with you. Your love for your granddaughter pushed you to take more active steps toward caring for yourself and getting treatment. Your husband's love and support helped you to deeper treatment. The love you share with him speaks of honest communication and mutual respect, otherwise he could not have helped you nor could you have accepted his help. Your therapist knows how to stand by you and show you that an eight year old is not and is never to blame for abuse received at the hands of an adult. You have your belief in God, and you find strength and support in your belief. A rich and abiding spiritual life enriches your core self and strengthens your ability to grow and heal. Our authentic spiritual lives are thoroughly entwined with our ability to give and receive love.
Love and trust Love and trust is a steady theme in your journey. For many women, the years of developing loving relationships are necessary to give a woman a base from which to take the great risk of beginning real recovery from an eating disorder. For an unknown number of women, the push to genuine recovery never comes.
Blocked love and blocked recovery I recall an 85 year old woman, fragile and thin from a lifetime of anorexia, who was bent over from osteoporosis. She was an angry and bitter woman who could not appreciate or accept caring from people around her. The hump in her back caused her clothes to fit poorly. When she couldn't button her skirt because of the physical distortion caused by the osteoporosis she grimaced and declared she had to lose weight because she was getting fat.
Love is essential Judy, you have been building your emotional life through the years. You reached a point where the love and support in your life from others and your own courage and love for others was enough to move you into the grand adventure of real eating disorder recovery and freedom. Well done, Judy. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have no doubt that you will continue to inspire other women to move into their eating disorder recovery. So many people benefit from your kind of sharing, not only the women who have an eating disorder, but also all the people who love them, including those very special granddaughters. Please let us know how you are doing.
warm regards and respect to you and all who share your journey,
Joanna
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